As a wedding photographer, I’m usually behind the lens, capturing candid moments, giving posing direction, and chasing golden hour light. Somehow, over a year into my relationship, I realized we had less than five photographs together. During a recent trip to New York City with my boyfriend, I booked a couples session for us. We booked our session with Pat Flanagan.

Swapping roles gave me a whole new perspective—not only on what my clients experience but also on how meaningful and eye-opening it can be to see yourself through someone else’s lens. Here are a few unexpected lessons I took away from the experience:

1. Black & White Photos Are Underrated (and Totally Frame-Worthy)

I’ve always questioned how much black and white photos may actually be needed in client galleries. Doesn’t everyone just edit them themselves? I didn’t realize how much I would love them in my own. These versions felt instantly timeless and artistic. When it came time to print and frame our favorites, I kept reaching for the black and whites. They had a clean, elevated look that felt right at home on our walls.

2. Not Every Laugh Is Flattering—and That’s Okay

As a photographer, I often encourage laughter and playfulness. But when I saw the photos of me laughing, I noticed how much I squinted. While I love the energy of those images, I found myself preferring the softer, more styled shots—moments where we were gently smiling at each other or striking a more editorial pose.

Takeaway: Every couple has a different comfort zone, and that’s what makes their photos feel like them. Some people love goofy, others feel their best when they’re channeling a moody magazine spread. Both are valid. Both are beautiful.

3. Coordinating Outfits is Trickier Than It Looks

I’ve styled dozens of sessions and given advice about “what to wear” for photos. But when it came time for us to choose outfits, I realized how overwhelming it can be. Balancing style, comfort, and cohesion is no small feat. The weather shifted, and it was way colder than I had initially planned, adding an extra layer of stress.

After trying a few options, I landed on something simple: neutrals, classic cuts, and pieces we already loved wearing. Looking back, I’m glad we didn’t overthink it.

My advice: Choose outfits that feel like you, photograph well, and allow movement. When in doubt, go neutral and keep it classic. Staying away from anything with text or standing is key.

Final Thoughts

Having our couple photos taken in NYC reminded me why I do what I do. It’s not just about capturing beautiful images; it’s about helping people feel confident, connected, and seen. The vulnerability I felt as the subject gave me a more profound empathy for every couple I work with. It’s NOT easy to get in front of the camera! And now, I get to hang those photos in our home as a reminder of that moment, and everything it taught me.

Whether you’re a couple planning your session or a fellow photographer considering booking your own, I highly recommend getting on the other side of the lens. You just might walk away with more than great photos; you might see yourself and how you shoot in a new light.